Blood Bowl Podcast - Zlurpcast

Zlurpcast #31 – Feb 2012

Jonny P — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 06:27:08 +0000

Jonny P and Xtreme, the not-so-dynamic-duo are back, and G-Dub has been shown the door. Hopefully he’s gone for another year… or at least only accesible via phone making prank phone calls for Zlurpcast donations! The boys cover Frozzty Bowl, Seaside Slaughter, and Orclahoma Bowl in the Graveyard, and preview February Blood Bowl Tournmanets, Heroes Challenge, Rat City Rumble, and Bugman’s Bowl. Inside the Dugout this month talks in-depth with the winner of last year’s Best Guest Award, Chris “Wapcaplets” Engler. He discusses Blood Bowl, Wrestling, and Fat Albert…. what else right? Info is giving on FF-Fields Too Cool Team Contest and Abraxis’ Give Him a Gobbo Contest. Roger Ebert calls this episode a fun romp for the season.

DOWNLOAD HERE!

Like a Bossk

Jonny P — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 03:54:57 +0000

I’ve always been a Star Wars geek. I used to be really into collecting action figures. Now, not so much. I’ve sold off a ton of stuff over the years, but just recently I found a box of some Star Wars figures and while I was setting up my new computer desk decided to put some of my favorites on display on there.

I started to examine the figures and obviously my desk will have a Boba Fett, Vader, Stormtroopers, Han….and of course Slave Leia, but something really bugged me about the new movie figures.

Before anyone starts the debate… I like the new movies! I like all six Star Wars movies! Yes Jar Jar is stupid and Anakin is a whiny kid, but fuck man, it’s the Wars! Qui-Gon is a badass maverick Jedi, Jango Fett is so badass he was cloned a million times, and Padme in the white outfit made me blow my midichlorians all over my blu-ray.

With that said… dude. Han. Jabba. Greedo. Lando. Dr. Evazan?!

Of course the original trilogy is better. This isn’t about that.

This is about the action figures. The same action figures that I always assumed got better as things became newer. Those old vintage 1980 Empire figures are pretty rough. Cool for the time, but doesn’t really hold up. Remember in the 90’s when the Power of the Force figs came out? Those were great. I had more than I could count. And it even forced me to read books. Well comic books. So what, I know what the fuck a Prince Xizor is. Do you?

I read books because of cool action figures.

So I’ve got these really nice new and improved version of the vintage figures. Vader for example is an imposing figure (pun) with a cool plastic/rubber cape. They all stand up on their own (pun) too! Sure some of them don’t have the perfect likeness. The Han Solo figure for example has a cartoony face and little too much pro-wrestler upper body build. But so what. Good outweighs the bad.

Cut to 5-7 years later and the prequels come out…along with the prequel action figures. Alright I geeked out, Darth Maul is a fucking killing machine. So I bought a Darth Maul that spins his double bladed saber when you push a button…. which, fun fact, looks like he’s doing the “jerk off” symbol when you take the saber out of his hand. I also bought a “normal” Darth Maul actual figure. You know what I mean when I say normal. Meaning, IT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING, HE JUST STANDS THERE. IN A FUCKING POSE. Which one did I like better? Non-Jerkoff-Maul.

So as time went on and Episode 2 comes out then Episode 3 comes out, it seemed like all the figures I wanted had to DO SOMETHING. Like push a button and Anakin’s hand falls off. Ok, cool concept, but it’s an action figure. It’s not going to work right. Just make something that looks cool that does one thing well… STANDS ON A SHELF AND DOES NOTHING.

The best action figure is a no-action figure.

Here is a run down (pictured left to right) of some figures that pissed me off.

Palpatine - First off, I can’t find his head. My bad on that one. But you are supposed to push down on the figure like a Sorry bubble dice popper and one hand goes up. Why just one? Dumb. Also, that outfit is a hot mess.

Han – Y’know what… I made this one work. The face and clothes are perfect, but he’s in a pose that anything out of that pose is weird. I put a blaster (a better looking one than the one he came with) in his right hand and it’s cool. But unlike the standard action figures I prefer, you can’t just put his arms up and such and still look normal. Yep, this ‘action figure’ works best as a statue. Laugh it up fuzzball.

Evil Anakin – His right hand comes off. Ok, I get it. But why is his right arm joint attached like a ball and socket joint. It actually looks like a pegleg arm. They should have just made it straight. This figure had some potential. Had. Now it’s a bad pirate arm.

Padme - When I bought this figure, her outfit was white… now it’s yellowing. That sucks because I love her. Y’know what’s worse than the yellowing of the white painted plastic? The frozen outstretched right arm for her blaster. And her legs are in this weird bend. If the intention is to “play” with these toys, and arms and legs and joints all move, then why make it look weird if you pose them in any other pose than the only one shown in the package? Makes no sense. Yes, I wanted to bend her over like I did that Sith Twi’lek. But I can’t. Thanks Hasbro. My geekboner hates you.

Anakin Ep2 – Right arm comes off. Ok fine, but the magnet is too weak and just falls off now. And for NO reason at all, in his left hand it spins. Yes, spins. Like a swivel. Like an exorcist arm. So weird. What a shitty figure. One hand is twisted and the other one falls off when you breathe hard. Like voice box breathe hard.

Obi-Wan Ep2 – This figure is too short first off. And he’s doing the splits. And they decided to go with a magnet on the hand to show he can attract his light saber (with metal hilt) from a distance… The Force / The Magnets. Problem is, once the lightsaber is in the hand, it’s just stuck there. His hand is open, not in ‘grip’ mode. He’s not actually holding the lightsaber, it looks like it’s glued on there. The glue is strong with this one.

(bottom row)

Vader - Darth Vader has a cloth cape. Gay. Also his back has a button that you push and makes him turn his torso. It just looks weird. In fact, I don’t recall Vader ever doing calisthenics in the movies. Maybe Expanded Universe stuff.

Obi-Wan Ep3 - Worst one of the bunch. At first glance, it seems cool, but this figure, like all the rest of these, forces it to DO SOMETHING. This one… kicks something and thus his foot is just dangling there. Yes, like a gimp foot. He can’t even stand up straight. It was meant to put on some kind of base that lets him kick barrels or some shit.

Action figures that require them to do some sort of action is not a good idea.

That is like when LEGO decided to make things to build that only could make that one thing. The cool thing about LEGO when I was a kid is using your imagination to make what you want….”Look Mom! I made a house on wheels, I want to live in one of these when I get older”…..we are getting away from that now with LEGO, action figures, and dreams.

Two rules…

1. Make action figures look like they are supposed to.

2. Make them stand up and look fucking normal.

If I want them to “do something”, i’ll pull down Bossk’s pants and re-enact the Ugnaught rape scene deleted from Episode 5. Until then, stop making ACTION ACTION FIGURES. There should be no actual action going on ever…. just like their fans make sure of.

ZTZ – Chaos

Jonny P — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:57:42 +0000

Shawn (Boof?) and Nathan (Bumblefuck?) know the quickest way to the Main Guy’s heart, besides food, is to talk Chaos. Chaos Chaos CHAOS! This month’s Zlurpcast Tactic Zone’s Roster Dissection segment will teach you how to build the most unstoppable, and surprisingly well-rounded Chaos Team in Blood Bowl. Is it better to load up on mutations or skills or a combination of both? The ZTZ guys go into detail on not just what upgrades to take, but also starting rosters for both Bloodbowl leagues and tournaments. You asked for tactics, and now you got it… go download the Chaos Episode NOOOOOOOOWW!!!

DOWNLOAD HERE!

Heroes Challenge – Feb 11th – Chicago

Jonny P — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:36:33 +0000

http://zlurpcast.com/HC1/HeroesChallenge.pdf

Heroes Challenge

Date: February 11th, 2012
Location: Games Plus – Mount Prospect, IL

Registration: 10:00am
First Game: 10:30am

4 Games – 2 Hour Per Game Time Limit

Cost: $10 for NAF / $15 Non-NAF

RULES / TEAM BUILDING
Heroes Challenge uses the current CRP/LRB6 rules found here:

http://zlurpcast.com/JP/CRaP-LRB6.pdf

You may choose to use one of the 3 new official teams found here:

http://zlurpcast.com/JP/NewTeamsLRB6.pdf

Using 1,100,000gps, you are to build a team consisting of players,
fan factor, rerolls, assistant coaches, cheerleaders and/or an
apothecary (if applicable for that race)

You MAY have less than 11 players on your roster.

No money can be spent on stat or skill upgrades.

Instead you can award one each of the following upgrades to 4
separate 0-12 or 0-16 players. (ie: Linemen players only)
One player may have +1 ST
One player may have +1 AG
One player may have +1 MA
One player may have +1 AV

Tournament Organizer will provide colored base rings for these
upgrades that you can keep, so that way everyone knows what color
represents what upgrade type. (ie. Red = +1 Strength)

Since this is the Heroes Challenge, we need some Stars!
(Note: Only Stars from the rulebook will be allowed)

EVERY team must have at least one Star Player on their roster.

You can hire up to 4 Star Players total if you wish.

You can have the same Star Player as your opponent. (Clones!)

You CANNOT have more than one of the same Star on your roster.

You can proxy Star Player models, but PLEASE make it clear for
your opponent so he knows who is who.

Stars are the ONLY type of Inducement allowed.

Fouling is ONLY successful on a Doubles Roll. Non-Doubles rolls
on Armor or Injury will cause you to be ejected.

Apothecaries heal on a 2+. Place healed player in Reserves.

Standard Kickoff Table. Standard Weather Table

You will be given 2 Heroes Challenge D6’s to keep that you must
use for each game.

Only GW or NAF Block Dice allowed.
Bring three copies of your roster: One for you, one for opponent,
one for Tournament Organizer.
Bring your own board, block dice, templates, and balls.

First round random pairings, then Swiss pairings after that.

Roster/Injuries will reset each game.Any questions, email tournament organizer at jpeletis@gmail.com
This is Version 1.0 of Heroes Challenge rules

GAME POINTS
60pts for a WIN
30pts for a DRAW
10pts for a LOSS

+5pts for each TD a NON-STAR PLAYER scores for your team
There are no bonus points for Casualties

THEME POINTS
After the final game, the Tournament Organizer will award the
following bonus points to your score

+50 PAINTING POINTS if your team is fully painted
OR
+15 PAINTING POINTS if your team is partially painted
(Full/Partial Painting determined by the Tournament Organizer)

+50 GOOD GUY POINTS
Only the below races are eligible to receive this bonus
Amazon Dwarf Elf Halfling High Elf Human Lizardmen Norse Wood Elf Slann

SCHEDULE
10:00 – 10:30 Registration
10:30 – 12:30 Game 1
12:30 – 1:00 Lunch
1:00 – 3:00 Game 2
3:00 – 3:15 Break
3:15 – 5:15 Game 3
5:15 – 5:30 Break
5:30 – 7:30 Game 4
7:45 – Awards

DIRECTIONS

http://www.games-plus.com/storeinfo.htm

Thanks for the Great Tournaments

Xtreme — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:54:11 +0000

Jonny and I on behalf of Zlurpcast would like to thank all the people that put together tournaments in the US in 2011. Without you we wouldn’t have the fun events to go to, and would have a lot less to talk about on the podcast. Here is the list of people everyone that attends tournaments should be thanking,

Valdric/Rowdy Katie (X4)

Lahatiel

Forcecommander (X2)

exbenedict

Khail

Jonny P (X3)

jaghatai

Beaux

Darkork20

Norse

Solarflare (X2)

daloonieshaman (X2)

Dragonbait

Majortusk

Sugarwookie

Zootsuitjeff

flyingdingle

glamdryn

fe2mike

Alkaline13

Sierakillobravo

Father Gailus

daht

Xtreme (X3)

Happy New Year 2012

Jonny P — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:54:25 +0000

Quick blog post because it’s been awhile.

I’d like to first thank the Zlurp Nation for making Xtreme and I feel like this little goofy recording we do each month is actually enjoyable for others to listen to.

Secondly, my touranment goal (besides trying to win one at some point!) is to get an NAF rating with every single NAF team. Currently in the US, only Mike/Valdric and Frank/Solarflare have done it. This year I’m planning on hitting the following tournaments: Frozzty Bowl, Heroes Challenge (odd man out), Royal Rumble, Headbangers Ball (odd man out), Stupor Bowl, Four Diamonds (as part of my wife and I’s NYC/Philly road trip), Put a Ring On It 2, Bunker Brawl IV (odd man out), and Ghouls Night Out. I am going to try and make Chromatic Cup and Special K Cup as well…. both Tom R’s crew in OH, and Beaux’s crew in MI run great events but with vacation that same month we’ll just have to wait and see.

I still need to use the following teams for NAF ratings: Chaos Dwarf (planning to buy the Volmarian team at some point), Halfling (I’m using Ewoks. What.) Goblin (planning on doing a straight no weapon, no big guy, goblin team at Stupor Bowl… with the help of 3 2485 Scares!), Human, Chaos Pact (hoping my team from James ‘Slann” Bobko” comes soon…he painted a Samurai team for me with enough models to use for either race, Khemri (planning on borrowing Dean’s team), and on my painting plate for this year is a High/Pro Elf team using the female Shadowforge Elves…which may also triple as Amazons…. my 2nd edition Skaven team….and my plastic Chaos team.

Let’s see if I can manage to get all that done in addition to my other side projects this year: Finish writing my short film script, Roadimentary….then shoot and edit! Get my online radio station up and running, Discord Radio, and of course play more SWTOR which I’m doing right now. Very addicting!

Main Guy wishing all the Zlurp Nation a Happy 2012…. if the world doesn’t end. If it does, you know G-Dub would somehow make it through. Sucks.

Zlurpcast #30 – Jan 2012

Jonny P — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:59:09 +0000

G-Dub to the feetup whutupshun! This time for reals… hear the debut of G-Dub’s first song, called #WHUTUPSHUN. He takes over the show from Jonny P this month with his cohost/ “secretary bitch” Xtreme. Full coverage of December tournaments, along with a preview of what’s to come in January. For an in-depth preview, the guys talk with Steve and Scott from the newest Blood Bowl Podcast, Both Down, and also the organizers of Orclahoma Bowl. Lastly, this episode is a two-parter since part 2 is the 2011 Awards show! Find out who won the Best Tournament Model Award, Iron Man, Best Guest, Best Star Player Guest, Meatloaf, and Zlurpcast Coach of the Year! This episode clocks in at just under 2 hours and according to G-Dub it’s about a 1 hour and 57 minutes of filler when his song isn’t playing. Zlurp Nation members will get a seperate download of the song including lyrics later this month. Download Episode 30 thrice please. Tell two friends. Tell one enemy.

DOWNLOAD HERE!

ZTZ – Commissioner Talk & Team Manager

Jonny P — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 03:19:39 +0000

The boys down under, aka Shathan and Nawn, aka Zlactics Zlone, present how to deal with the various personality types of coaches in a league and what you, as a commissioner can do to try and make nice with everyone. They teach you how to act Like a Boss, and even have the perfect song for it! In the Coach’s Corner segment they review the Blood Bowl card game, Team Manager. Listen to this right now, then send Shawn nasty emails. Just cuz.

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Main Guy Enhances Rodney

Jonny P — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:03:11 +0000

Jonny P wins Best Defense award at Underworld Cup 2011, and during the awards ceremony, unbeknownst to Rodney, he puts the Bang on the front of his trousers. Classic Main.

Xtreme vs Milo (Jonny’s Hero)

Jonny P — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 04:49:13 +0000

Here we see Underworld Cup 2006 where Xtreme faces Main Guy’s 1996 Blood Bowl Email List Hero, Milo Sharp. Xtreme turned out to be the victor, but Milo won the better prize. A kiss on the lips.